Welcome to Hellmouth East

TO: New Trainees
FROM: Supreme Watcher Council (North American Division/Eastern U.S.)
RE: Orientation

Welcome to your first Watcher orientation session. It's in a nice cheery place we in the Council like to call Hellmouth East. Why you ask? (OK so pretend you asked.)

Well, unlike that other, better known mystical convergence in Sunnydale, California, this Hellmouth is conveniently located in the center of New York City. So now you know why all hell regularly breaks loose in this town and nobody seems to notice just like in Sunnydale.

In fact, when you really get right down to it, the only significant difference between here and there are all the television and movie types. After all, in New York when a public high school gets sucked into another dimension or someone spontaneously combusts on a park bench, get staked in a subway car or turns up headless in an alley, the police simply ticket the corpse or the next of kin for littering. But not in Sunnydale OH NO!!! Instead, they get a television series or movie based on their case files.

Well, speaking for all the dedicated Watchers here in New York (not to mention the guys and gals next door in the local Legacy House and down the street in the FBI field office), we're sick of it! We work just as hard, if not harder, than our blow-dried phonies ah, I mean, colleagues out West.

Hey, if you shoot, stab, impale, decapitate, immolate, staple and spindle us, do we not bleed? But please don't take our word for it -- you be the judge.

With this in mind, you're first task is to carefully review the field reports appended below. Frankly, these accounts, which have filtered back to headquarters over the past couple of years, are rather disturbing: Watchers socializing with Immortals, witches dating werewolves, and Legacy members assisting undead fiends. And to top it all off, we've even had unconfirmed reports of a Slayer, how shall I put this, "fraternizing" with an allegedly reformed vampire -- whatever that means. Absolutely disgusting!

In addition, we have provided links to other sites as well as surveillance photos of all the principals to assist you in assimilating the material. Of course, we also remind you that all standard security protocols are in full effect. However, should these reports somehow fall into unauthorized hands (claws, talons, tentacles, etc.) they will be immediately disavowed as the work of a delusional fan fic writer.

If you have any questions or comments about the material, please feel free to contact us.

Good luck.

PS: As a new employee, we also ask that you consider joining the office softball team (aptly named, the "Watchers"). We play the Legacy team (the "Lunas") on Mondays and the Centre team (the "Pretenders") on Thursdays in Central Park.